


come round and round (back to me)

by spicyomelette



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Celebrity!Wonwoo, M/M, Misunderstandings, PA!Junhui, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 14:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18345215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyomelette/pseuds/spicyomelette
Summary: Jeon Wonwoo didn’t recognize Junhui. The asshole.*Or the one where Wonwoo is one of the top stars in the entertainment industry and Junhui is his new PA.





	come round and round (back to me)

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. Extremely self-indulgent.

*

Wen Junhui was twenty two. Fresh out of college and just got the offer letter for this Master’s program in Australia that he applied for his last year in college, starting in a few months.

Junhui was twenty two, and an unemployed (at the moment) fresh graduate had no need to wear a uniform, not to mention a high school uniform. So Junhui found it odd that he was wearing his old high school uniform and that he was in his old high school’s library.

Junhui decided it was safe to assume that he was dreaming. But wasn’t it even more weird to be aware that you were dreaming? Junhui dismissed the idea not a minute later. Weird things always happened in dreams anyway.

Junhui assessed his surroundings. His high school library was just like he always remembered. Dozens of shelves full of books sorted based on the subjects, desks and chairs lined up near the windows. A quick glance at the entrance confirmed Junhui that the librarian was at her station, reading a book as usual.

Junhui had been quite close with her, being a constant presence at the school library. He had known she was married with two kids, a boy and a girl. And her husband worked at a construction company. Junhui wondered if he should approach her and say hi. It had been years since he last saw her after all. But something told him he should stay put.

Junhui himself was sitting at his usual spot at the corner near the window, a book in his hands. He flipped the book to take a look at the cover and found out that it was the third installment of the mystery series he had finished reading in his second year in high school. He remembered coming to the library at every break back then, wanting to finish the series as soon as possible. If he was in his high school library reading the third book of the series at the moment, and he was wearing his high school uniform, did that mean his dream took him back to high school?

_Ah, that must be the case_ , thought Junhui. He turned his attention outside the window. Some students were playing basketball at the court. Suddenly the loud cheering from the girls watching reached his ears. Junhui shook his head and turned back to his book, but the cheers only got louder. He put his book down in annoyance and made to close the window. The window was halfway closed when a memory struck Junhui.

_This has happened before_ , he told himself inwardly. To prove his suspicion Junhui looked back at the boys playing basketball and immediately he spotted one particular face, one that until today he could not erase from his memory. And believe him, he tried.

He saw the boy ( _he’s an adult now_ , Junhui thought)high fived with his friends for yet another victory and his body stilled with dread as the boy turned to look at the library’s direction. Junhui knew what happened next, and he knew he should get away, turn around and leave, but his body seemed adamant at not moving. Junhui could feel his heartbeat escalating, watching the boy running towards the window he was standing behind. It had been years, but that smile still had the same effect on him. Back then he had had a theory that it was the perfect rows of teeth. Now Junhui just thought himself ridiculously pathetic.

Junhui willed himself to move as Jeon Wonwoo reached out a hand to reopen the window Junhui was about to close, to no avail. It seemed that even in his dream history was determined to repeat itself. The urge to let out a hysterical laugh overcame Junhui, but he already conceded defeat. He didn’t get a say here, dream or no dream.

When Wonwoo’s lips landed on his, Junhui’s eyes went wide and he stopped breathing just like he had before. Too soon, Wonwoo pulled away. Junhui’s eyes followed the movement of those lips, still in daze that just a few seconds before they had been attached to his.

“Thanks for watching the game,” said Wonwoo with a wink. And before Junhui could formulate any clever response Wonwoo had turned around and jogged back to his waiting friends who were laughing for some reason Junhui hadn’t known back then, but would have found out soon after that.

*

The shrill sound of the alarm clock going off broke the peaceful quiet of the room. A muffled groan was heard from the lump under the pile of bed sheets and blanket. The lump shifted before a pale thin hand appeared from under the pile, grabbing around and successfully knocking the bedside lamp off the nightstand and falling down to the floor with a loud crack before finally finding the alarm clock and turning it off.

“Oh shit.”

A very rumpled Junhui sat up, more than half asleep. He raised a hand to his face to wipe the sleep away and spent a few more seconds staring at nothing in particular. He then turned his attention to the now broken lamp on the floor. It had been the third this month. He should stop this habit of unconsciously breaking things in the morning. Or maybe he should stop putting easily breakable things on his night stand. His alarm clock was an exceptionally solid one. He’d gotten it from Minghao ages ago.

Before his mind could drift toward the dream he just had, Junhui heard the muffled sound of his phone ringing from somewhere under the piles of sheets. He struggled for a few moments before finally finding the blasted thing near the edge of the bed. Lying on his stomach, Junhui tapped on the screen and brought the phone to his ear.

“Junhui, you know I love you right?” said the person across the line before Junhui could say ‘Hello’. “And you love me too, right? And you still owe me for covering your ass after that date turned disaster in our fresher’s year, you remember, right? And – ”

“Soonyoung,” cut Junhui, brain wasn’t fully functioning yet to listen to his friend’s babbling. “What did you do this time?”

There was a pause for a full three seconds before Soonyoung quietly let out a sheepish laugh. “Um, you remember about the job offer that I took up?”

“That PA thing? Yeah, I do. What with that?”

“So, a couple weeks before accepting that offer, I did an interview with Cheil. You know Cheil Worldwide Inc.?”

“That advertising agency?”

“Yes. So, I waited for weeks but no word from them, and when I was offered that job as a PA I accepted without second thought. But guess who called me yesterday when I was out with the guys?”

“Who?”

“Aish. Junhui, why are you acting so dumb? Isn’t it obvious? Of course someone from Chiel called me yesterday. They said I am expected to come to work on Monday!”

“Oh?”

“Did you hear me? The largest advertising agency in South Korea just included your best friend in their employee list! Is ‘oh’ the appropriate reaction for that? Seriously, Junhui, what kind of best friend are you?” grumbled Soonyoung.

Junhui ignored his friend’s complaint and got up from his previous position instead. “Well, congrats, I guess. But what about your job as a PA?”

“Um,” Soonyoung was hesitating before carrying on. “That’s why I called, actually.”

He knew Soonyoung couldn’t see it, but Junhui raised his eyebrows anyway. “And how is calling me relevant to you getting yourself caught between two employments, would you please enlighten me?”

“That is.. Junhui-ah, you’re not working, right? You have loads of free time, and you have outstanding organization skill. And you’re my best friend, so of course you’re going to help me out, right?”

Junhui suddenly had a bad feeling about this. This was not the first time Soonyoung seek him out for help. That guy had gotten into various kinds of trouble it was almost impressive. If only Junhui had been the one who sat on the sideline eating popcorn and occasionally laughing his ass off when he found the kind of mess Soonyoung got himself into was funny instead of the one who, on each and every occasion, went out and did unspeakable things to save his friend’s ass.

Taking a slow deep breath, Junhui braced himself before asking, “What do you need me to do this time?”

*

This was a bad idea, a very bad idea. The throwing-yourself-off-a-cliff-was-much-better kind of bad idea. Junhui regretted agreeing to do this with all his heart. He should have told Soonyoung to suck it up and let him enjoy his last few months in Korea in peace, but Junhui knew as well as Soonyoung did that he would never do that. _Damn conscience_.

Junhui was the type who would get himself drenched in the rain because he happily gave away his umbrella to some old lady who forgot to bring hers. He was the type who would sacrifice himself if that would help make the world a better place. Not helping his friend when he could, the fact that it would put himself into an extremely uncomfortable situation aside, was out of the question. Soonyoung didn’t need to know that Junhui spent the previous day repeatedly catching himself before calling him saying “Listen, Soonyoung. I know you’re my best friend. I love you and all, but I can’t do it.”

Junhui didn’t need to be told to realize that Soonyoung had to have called every other person that he thought could help him take the job before finally asking Junhui. Junhui used to be the person he sought out first, back in university days, but now Soonyoung tried his best to not bother Junhui so much, mostly because he had done enough of that already. The fact that Soonyoung had called Junhui for help in itself meant that no one else could do it, and Junhui was his last resort. Junhui couldn’t not help him.

Well, at least Soonyoung said he talked with the manager informing that Junhui would only stay on the job for a few months so they would start looking for a new substitute before Junhui had to leave for Australia. Three months. Soonyoung had told Junhui that he only needed to work for three months. After that someone would replace him. Junhui just didn’t get why Soonyoung couldn’t call the manager apologizing that he couldn’t do the job and please just look for someone else like right away. Soonyoung had mentioned that the manager was his second cousin or something and he felt bad that he had said yes but ended up discarding the position for another job so he had promised to help finding a replacement.

The thing was, Junhui wasn’t certain he could survive three months being the personal assistant of one of South Korea’s top celebrity – who was unfortunately also Junhui’s ex-not-boyfriend whom he once had a disastrous short not-relationship with –, Jeon Wonwoo.

Too deep in his musing, Junhui had forgotten how long he had been standing in front of the door. When he started to be aware of his surrounding once again, an exceptionally pretty man was looking at him with raised eyebrows, one hand keeping the door open. Junhui wasn’t fazed by the beauty, well not by much anyway. Junhui had seen a number of beautiful men in his time. His very own best friend could have even passed as a very pretty girl back when they were younger and Soonyoung hadn’t started going to the gym. In fact, Soonyoung had once cross-dressed and posed as Junhui’s girlfriend to save Junhui, which, by the way, was the reason why Soonyoung claimed Junhui owed him forever, but that was a story for another time. The thing that bothered Junhui about this man was he looked kind of scary, and Junhui really couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that this pretty but scary man was Soonyoung’s cousin. Well, second cousin. Whatever. They didn’t even look alike, mutual prettiness aside.

“Oh. Um, hi. I’m Wen Junhui?” that came out sounding more like a question and the man’s eyebrows, if possible, only rose higher.  Junhui inwardly cursed himself. It was true that he didn’t want the job, and he wasn’t in need of money – he’s got lots of it actually, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself right on his first day working either.

“Choi Seungchol, Wonwoo’s manager,” said the man. He didn’t offer Junhui a hand to shake so Junhui decided to bow instead, which only got a slight nod in response.

“Soonyoung told me to come on Monday at seven,” said Junhui.

“And he told me you are always on time, so I was wondering why you hadn’t showed up after ten minutes past seven. I’m touched to find out that my door fascinates you that much, but can you hurry up and come in already?”

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” Junhui hurriedly stepped in as Seungchol gave way for him.

 “Sit down while I grab my coat and car key,” ordered Seungchol. “Did you bring your car?”

“Soonyoung told me not to,” answered Junhui immediately. He had left his place at six. The subway ride to Seungchol’s apartment building from the nearest station had taken almost thirty minutes.

Seungchol disappeared behind a door leading to another room which most probably was his bedroom before emerging not a minute later, his coat on and car key in hand. 

“Good. We’re picking Wonwoo up. I’ll be driving. And later you can drive Wonwoo’s car. He has a photo shoot at ten,” Seungchol said as he grabbed his Mulberry Albert leather holdall from the coffee table. “Let’s go.”

Seungchol handed Junhui an agenda book containing Wonwoo’s schedule, dated up to three months ahead, with a list of contacts Junhui should know, and summarized the things he was supposed to do as Wonwoo’s PA, which, to put it simply, was to be anything Wonwoo required him to be. He was to make sure Wonwoo showed up on set on time and in one piece, arrange Wonwoo’s schedule, make travel arrangements when necessary, be in contact with the people his charge was currently working with, and even take care of menial tasks like getting his laundry and making sure Wonwoo ate enough every day. As Seungchol drove them to Wonwoo’s house somewhere in the outskirts of Seoul, Junhui studied Wonwoo’s schedule and silently concluded that a celebrity personal assistant was actually a fancy way to address their nanny and housekeeper. Snorting inwardly, he thought no wonder he was being paid the amount he was.

When Seungchol parked his car in front of a modern looking two story house in a seemingly new neighborhood, Junhui’s momentarily forgotten hysterics came back in full force.

“Oh shit,” he cursed under his breath.

Junhui was fine with seeing Wonwoo on TV or on those ridiculously huge advertising posters people liked to exhibit at public places, though truth to be told Junhui would most times make obvious effort not to look. Despite the pep talk he had given himself the previous night, Junhui found his resolve wavering. Junhui wasn’t ready to face Wonwoo in person. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

“Are you coming or not?” asked Seungchol with a thinly veiled impatience.

“Oh, yes. Sorry.”

Junhui immediately closed the door to the passenger seat and followed Seungchol into the house.

*

Jeon Wonwoo didn’t recognize Junhui. The asshole.

In Wonwoo’s defense, he was still asleep before Seungchol barged into his room and unceremoniously dragged him out of bed. When Seungchol introduced Junhui as his new PA, Wonwoo didn’t look up from where he was sitting, not even half awake. He dismissed any niceties altogether and languidly made his way back to his room, apparently to take a shower since Seungchol informed them Wonwoo had to be on set two hours before the photo shoot started.

“Um, he didn’t look well,” noted Junhui hesitantly.

It wasn’t that Junhui was worried about Jeon Wonwoo’s well-being. He couldn’t care less whether the guy was well or not. But since he was Wonwoo’s personal assistant from this day on, Junhui supposed it was his job to notice when his charge was feeling less than healthy and, apparently, to do something about it. At least that was what Junhui told himself.

“That’s because he isn’t. His condition has been worsening lately. I cleared his schedule for the weekend and let him rest here. But today he has to go back to work,” explained Seungchol, a frown marred his beautiful feature. Then he turned to look at Junhui. “He’ll be free after the press conference, which will be over by nine. After that you send him home, and make sure he eats. Also give him some medicine if his headache gets worse.”

Junhui nodded, a little perplexed by the almost brusque tone Seungchol had used, as if this kind of event was nothing new to him, which, Junhui silently reminded himself, might be the case. He supposed it was a common occurrence for a celebrity, one in Jeon Wonwoo’s caliber, to be forced to work even when they were not feeling up for it. It was an ironic contrast to the glamorous life the media always described they lived in. Well, not that Junhui hadn’t heard about this before, though he wouldn’t claim himself all that observant about the entertainment world in South Korea.

“Make sure he gets to the set on time,” said Seungchol after that, standing up and reaching for his man bag. “I have a meeting with the agency in an hour, so I’ll be going first.”

Junhui almost gaped at Seungchol’s statement but fortunately he caught himself on time.

“I – You mean, you are not coming with us?”

“No. But I might show up on set later to check on things. And I’ll be there for the interview this afternoon. But I’ve got a lot of other things to take care of, so you got to keep an eye on him for the rest of the day. Call me if you need to, but I’ll be busy so try to work it out on your own first and only call me if it’s really important. Any more questions?”

Junhui shook his head. “No, I got it.”

“Good. I’ll be going then. Tell Wonwoo I’m off to the meeting.”

“Okay.”

Seungchol departed without any more words, leaving Junhui feeling out of his skin, being alone in Jeon Wonwoo’s living room.

Wonwoo emerged half an hour later, fresh out of shower and dressed in a figure hugging dark blue shirt and a pair of black fitting jeans that showed off his long legs and Junhui thought, _damn this isn’t fair_. Wonwoo wasn’t supposed to be this good looking up close. Junhui was cool with Wonwoo looking like perfection incarnate on TV, celebrities rarely looked less than perfect on TV anyway. Junhui wasn’t ready to accept the fact that Wonwoo looked this good even without make up and that he was even more handsome now than when he was in high school, despite those dark circles under his eyes, proof of his fatigue.

_There has to be a rule against this somewhere_ , thought Junhui desperately as he tried his best to control his increasing heartbeat. It was okay to feel the way he was feeling in his dream, but Junhui was supposed to be over Wonwoo in reality. The guy didn’t even recognize Junhui. Not that Junhui would want anything to do with Wonwoo anymore if Wonwoo had recognized him aside from being his PA, which wasn’t Junhui’s own wish in the first place. They hadn’t been in a relationship. It had only lasted a few months, but to find out that he had been so easily forgotten only after five years while he had to see Wonwoo’s face all over the place since he came back to Korea kind of stung. Though, to tell the truth, Junhui realized it was better this way. It was easier to act professional around Wonwoo if the man wasn’t aware that Junhui was the kid he used to have sex with on occasion in high school.

“Where’s Seungchol?” asked Wonwoo while putting on his jacket.

Junhui immediately set his emotional turmoil aside and put on his professional front. “He left for the meeting at the agency.”

“Oh.” And Wonwoo didn’t comment further, looking around for something Junhui couldn’t tell, maybe his keys.

“Do you want to have breakfast before we leave?” asked Junhui.

“No. I’ll have a cup of coffee on set.”

Wonwoo noticed his keys on the bookshelf that divided the living room with another room which looked like the dining room and went to grab them. He gave Junhui a brief look before titling his head toward the front door. “Let’s go.”

Junhui wanted to protest, words about the most important meal of the day and Wonwoo looking more than halfway to being sick already on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed them back. He had a feeling Wonwoo wouldn’t be happy to be lectured in his current condition. Junhui got up and accepted the car key that Wonwoo offered. 

“Okay. Want to grab something to eat on our way?” Junhui couldn’t stop himself before asking.

Wonwoo shook his head without looking up as he put on his shoes. “Not in the mood for food,” he said.

There was something in Wonwoo’s voice, Junhui couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but it made him feel inexplicably sad. Junhui bit his lips, worry slowly rising until finally residing in the pit of his stomach as he followed Wonwoo to the garage.

They spent the ride in silence, Junhui concentrating on the road, or at least he tried to while sneaking a quick glance at Wonwoo who had his earphone on all the way to the studio once in every few minutes. When they arrived, Wonwoo got off the car without words and Junhui quietly followed. Junhui looked around in awe when they got to the photo shoot area. This would be his first time seeing a photo shoot up close. A lot of people scattered around the place doing various kinds of things, getting the set ready. Junhui turned to Wonwoo only to find the man looking at him with a peculiar expression on his face.

“Um. Is something... wrong?” asked Junhui cautiously.

A pair of dark eyes narrowed, making a crease appear between two perfectly shaped eyebrows. “Did we meet somewhere before? You look kind of familiar, Junhui.”

Junhui was sure his heart stop beating for two long seconds. _Oh shit_ , Junhui’s mind went as Wonwoo looked at him with interest, perfect eyebrows rising impossibly close to his hairline. Before Junhui could formulate any clever response, however, Wonwoo was grabbed by some woman and was rushed away from his spot. Junhui followed the retreating pair in bewilderment, and realized the woman was the make-up artist as he noticed she ordered Wonwoo to take a seat in front of the mirror and went on to inspect Wonwoo’s face, no doubt fussing over the dark circles under Wonwoo’s eyes.

Amused and more than a little relieved, Junhui shook his head before setting off to get a cup of coffee for his employer.

*

Junhui knew it was not right to assume things, especially about people he just knew, but he got the feeling that something was not quite right between Wonwoo and his manager. Seungchol, no matter how subtle he was about it, was clearly avoiding Wonwoo. He showed up at the set only for a few minutes, a quick glance at Wonwoo and a short list of things to do for Junhui and he was off somewhere again. He was there during Wonwoo’s interview, sitting on the chair next to the one Wonwoo was occupying while Junhui took a seat at another table making phone calls and taking notes on things he needed to do. Junhui wasn’t sure if the reporter sensed it but although the two men acted normal and friendly around each other, Junhui could see the tension between them.

Once the interview was over Seungchol hurriedly left saying he needed to take care of a few things before Wonwoo’s new drama’s press conference. Junhui quietly noted that Wonwoo was acting subdued and hadn’t even spoken more than three full sentences to his manager.

“Sorry if I’m being nosy,” said Junhui on their way back to Wonwoo’s place. Junhui just found out that Wonwoo didn’t live at the house they picked him up this morning, but instead at a condominium in the heart of Seoul. He went there when he wanted to get away. “But did you and Seungchol-Hyung fight?”

Wonwoo took his eyes off the road to look at Junhui. Junhui could see how Wonwoo was struggling to stay awake, dark circles under his eyes more prominent than this morning. Wonwoo had washed his face after the press conference earlier, otherwise Junhui wouldn’t notice because the make-up had covered his fatigue miraculously. He had to suppress this silly urge to reach out a hand and stroke Wonwoo’s cheek to dispel the weariness off of Wonwoo’s face.

“You’re right,” said Wonwoo bleakly. “You’re being nosy. Just mind the road.”

The rest of the ride went on in silence.

Junhui went home after Wonwoo went to sleep. The actor could barely make his way to his bed without tripping that Junhui had to support him with an arm around him. Junhui had painstakingly managed to get Wonwoo to eat some left over food Junhui had found in the fridge and had heated. He found some cold medicine in the cabinet in Wonwoo’s bathroom and persuaded Wonwoo to take one, hoping the man would get better the next morning since he would start shooting his new drama tomorrow.

By the time Junhui reached his apartment, he was dead tired and went straight to bed without bothering to take off his clothes, not to mention taking a shower.

*

Wonwoo didn’t get better, nor was the thing between him and Seungchol. Seungchol still acted like a whirlwind, showing up and going off right after, never lingered. Wonwoo woke up every morning looking like he hadn’t had a blink of sleep the night before and the worry in Junhui’s stomach got heavier and heavier as days passed. Junhui was half expecting and half dreading the man would collapse on set one day.

*

Junhui always believed that having thousands of fans was irritating. Not that he’d ever had his own fan base or something of that kind, but now that he was having the real life experience of dealing with fans on a daily basis, Junhui was silently feeling a little self-satisfied that he had been right. Too bad self-righteousness didn’t help with the irritation. Those fans were a whole new species of human race. If there were such thing as superhuman, Junhui thought fan girls (and boys) would definitely fit into the category. Only they irritated the life out of Junhui instead of saving lives, or something like that. And the fact that they weren’t even his fans was supposed to be telling something.

However, Junhui had to admit, despite his insistence that he didn’t have any inappropriate thoughts about his employer – not anymore, that the way Wonwoo treated his fans was truly admirable. No matter how tired he was after the shoots each day and Junhui knew all he wanted to do during those times was go back to his condo and sleep, he always had a smile on his face every time his fans called out for him. “Thank you. Please be careful on your way home,” he would say. Sometimes he would look up toward the sky and when he found it cloudy he would remind his fans to please do not get drench in the rain and become sick afterwards.

“They are the reason I am where I am right now,” he had said once to Junhui, when he was in a particularly talkative mood. “I don’t have the right to be displeased with the attention they are giving me.”

Sometimes, though, Junhui could see that Wonwoo did feel upset when the security at his building’s lobby reported that they had caught one (or sometimes more than one) of Wonwoo’s fans trying to sneak into the building. And that happened too often (twenty six times by Junhui’s second week as Wonwoo’s PA). Wonwoo always apologized and thanked the security every time. He understood how annoying it was for them, especially since his fans liked to hand them things, gifts, to give to Wonwoo. They always refused of course, Wonwoo had told them not to accept any of those. Sadly that didn’t make the fans stop trying.

Junhui wondered how Wonwoo’s fans would react if his past involvement with Wonwoo was found out by the press. He knew it was not likely, but Junhui didn’t want to delude himself into false self-assurance. In the entertainment industry hardly anything was impossible. And Junhui was fully aware of the reporters eyeing Wonwoo’s everyday act like hawks.

Junhui just hoped that by the time the media managed to dig up that deep into Wonwoo’s past Junhui would already be settling down with his university life in Australia, and he carefully avoided thinking about how Wonwoo would feel then because he didn’t like where that thought headed to. It was also preferable that Wonwoo realized who Junhui was before the press broke the news to him. It would be too ridiculous it was bordering on heartbreaking. 

Though with the way Wonwoo had been looking at Junhui lately, Junhui had his suspicion that Wonwoo knew something, or at least was thinking about something related to him. Junhui didn’t dare to guess what it was. If Wonwoo already recognized Junhui as a face from his past why hadn’t he confront Junhui about it? Surely nothing was holding him back, Junhui thought. So whatever it was, Junhui believed it wasn’t about that.

*

“This place needs cleaning,” Junhui declared the moment Wonwoo walked out of his bedroom, one morning in his third week as Wonwoo’s PA.

The imaginary rope around Junhui’s heart tightened its clutch the moment Junhui noticed Wonwoo’s apparent attempt at remaining upright. The man was currently holding onto the bookshelf while he pretended to look at Junhui with disdain.

It hurt Junhui that Wonwoo wouldn’t even admit to him that he was really not feeling alright. He could deceive his fans and everyone else while he was out shooting and doing his job, but Junhui saw him every morning when no make-up was covering the signs of exhaustion on his face, when he was still struggling to collect all the wakefulness he could muster. Junhui wondered why Wonwoo was doing this, and why Seungchol didn’t do anything about it and instead was doing his best to avoid being in the same room with Wonwoo. It hurt Junhui that he didn’t know anything and none of the parties involved made any attempt at enlightening him. Though to tell the truth he had some theory about what the matter was, despite Wonwoo’s quite matter-of-fact statement that   whatever it was it was none of Junhui’s business.

But what hurt Junhui more was that he didn’t understand why he was hurting and there was nothing he could do about it.

Carefully keeping his straight face, Junhui held out a hand toward Wonwoo. “Need a hand to take a seat?”

Wonwoo looked at Junhui for a whole three seconds, his expression unreadable. Then he silently accepted the extended hand and made to move toward the couch while holding onto Junhui. On his second step, however, Wonwoo lost his footing and almost tripped if not for Junhui’s arms keeping him from falling.

“Careful,” said Junhui, sounding breathless to his own ears.

“Thanks,” breathed Wonwoo. Junhui could feel the vibration on Wonwoo’s chest while he was talking due to their close proximity and carefully controlled his breathing. This was the closest they had been since... well, this was the closest they had been in years. Junhui forcefully casted away the reminiscence of the past that threatened to overcome him, triggered by Wonwoo’s shouldn’t-be-anymore-but-still familiar scent.

_Pull yourself together, Wen Junhui_ , Junhui mentally berated himself as he helped Wonwoo sit down on the couch. This was not the time for contemplating about the past.

“You shouldn’t work in this condition. I’ll call the director saying that you are not feeling well and will rest for the day,” said Junhui, cautiously keeping his own overwhelming concern out from his voice.

“No. Tell him I’ll come to the set at noon. I’ll be alright after sleeping a few more hours,” said Wonwoo with a hint of indignation despite his shaky voice.

Somehow Junhui doubted the truth in Wonwoo’s words no matter how sure Wonwoo sounded – well, as sure as someone in his condition could sound anyway, but Junhui decided not to protest. He understood Wonwoo was not being difficult for selfish reasons; he was simply being responsible for his job. Junhui let out a defeated sigh and nodded.

“Okay. I’ll tell him you need to rest for half a day and will get on set after lunch, at one in the afternoon.”

That would give Wonwoo about six hours to rest and regain his strength. Noting Wonwoo was not about to complain, Junhui reached for his phone and quickly tapped on the screen for the director’s number, silently wishing six hours would be enough.

He turned to Wonwoo as soon as he hung up the call. “Lie down while I prepare something for you to eat.”

Wonwoo nodded, not looking at Junhui but did as he was told anyway. Once he was lying on his back on the couch, he draped one arm over his eyes. Junhui supposed they felt sore. He wordlessly went to the kitchen for the food he promised Wonwoo.

As soon as he got to the kitchen, Junhui took out his phone once again and dialed Seungchol’s number.

“Hyung,” he said the moment Seungchol picked up the call. “I need to talk with you about something. Can we meet?”

Junhui believed Wonwoo’s worsening condition was only partly due to exhaustion and had something to do with the thing between him and Seungchol. Junhui was done with being kept in the dark. He was going to go and find out.

But he needed to feed the sick man lying on the couch first.

*

Seungchol was already waiting when Junhui showed up at the café. Junhui gave a polite nod as a slight bow before taking a seat across him.

“Do you want to order something to drink first?” Seungchol motioned toward his cup of coffee.

“Thank you. I’ll have a cup of coffee as well,” said Junhui.

Seungchol called the waiter over and ordered Junhui’s drink.

“So. What is it you want to talk about?” he asked Junhui the moment the waiter walked away. This was the thing Junhui liked about Seungchol, the man never bothered with subtlety when it was not needed – always to the point.

Junhui carefully put his thoughts into order, taking a deep breath before starting to speak but putting on a solemn face before speaking, “I want to know what is going on between you and Wonwoo. Or should I say, between the agency and Wonwoo?”

If Seungchol was surprised, he didn’t show it to Junhui. His only facial reaction was a smirk that adorned his already sharp feature. “How could you sound so sure it was between Wonwoo and the agency? What if it’s something... personal between Wonwoo and me?”

Junhui got what Seungchol was hinting at but he didn’t rise to the bait, keeping his serious face intact. “It’s obvious there’s nothing between you and Wonwoo, Hyung. Aside from being an actor with his manager and I suppose it’s safe to say that you two are good friends, though lately you’ve been doing a good job at pretending the opposite,” Junhui said carefully, but couldn’t help including his last comment. “But you call me to check on him every day, and always tell me what to do if anything happens. No matter how curt you made it sound every time you talk about him, Hyung, I know you actually care a great deal about Wonwoo. I won’t be surprised if you actually see him as your own younger brother.”

The waiter showed up again, bringing Junhui’s coffee with him, so Junhui waited until the waiter walked off before starting to talk again, but Seungchol beat him to it.

“Since it’s established that I care a great deal about Wonwoo,” Seungchol said slowly. ”How can you prove I don’t feel for him romantically?”

Junhui wanted to grit his teeth but restrained himself. He knew he should have expected this from Seungchol. This was one of the things he hated about Seungchol. The man was so keen on mind games. Junhui was fully aware if he wanted to get the answer he was looking for from Seungchol, he couldn’t fall into Seungchol’s provocation.

But he could walk right over it.

“Because I would feel it if you did,” he said bluntly. “You and Wonwoo are close, but not that kind of close. And considering how close you are with him, I believe you are aware of what this thing you’ve been doing is affecting him, though I won’t put the whole blame on you. I have a suspicion that had you been the one who could put an end to it, you’d have done it without wasting any second. And since you’re always off doing things for the agency, I suppose it’s them, isn’t it? What do they want Wonwoo to do that he refused to? Or is it the other way around?”

When Junhui was done speaking, Seungchol was looking at him with this glint in his eyes that suspiciously looked like delight.

“You really are a lot smarter that you look, aren’t you, Junhui?”

Junhui shrugged.

“Not my fault that people tend to assume the contrary.”

He wouldn’t have passed the selection for that Master’s program if he had not been as smart as he was after all, Junhui added inwardly.

“So, Hyung, are you going to tell me what’s the matter between Wonwoo and the agency?”

“And why should I tell you, Junhui-ah?” Seungchol asked back, though his tone sounded more playful than intimidating.

“Because I refuse to be kept in the dark any longer. I realized after a while that you actually assigned a personal assistant for Wonwoo so you could get away, right? I’ve checked around, Wonwoo never needed a PA before. You’ve always been the one who did everything for him. You asked Soonyoung to be his PA because you needed to get away from Wonwoo because of the thing with the agency. I’d like to believe that you’re actually trying to help him instead of siding with the company, to tell the truth. But since it’s the agency you’re tied to, I will understand if you can’t do as much as you’d like.”

There was something else in Seungchol’s face when Junhui looked at him. And the smile that Seungchol showed him this time was nothing like his usual smirk but a real smile, with the barest hint of that something else that Junhui couldn’t decipher.

“Since you’re demanding me to be honest with you,” Seungchol said. “Why don’t you do the honorable thing and be honest yourself? I know your good heart reaches out for everyone who needs help, but I doubt you’d be this troubled if this was about anyone else. And don’t fool me with the ‘your job as Wonwoo’s PA’ crap. It won’t work with me and you know it.”

“What do you mean?”

Seungchol tsk-ed and took a ship from his coffee. Junhui followed. It wouldn’t taste good when it was no longer hot.

“And you blame people for assuming you’re stupid.  You like to pretend that you are. But it doesn’t work with me either.”

Junhui could feel his patience growing thinner. And he really should be checking if Wonwoo was awake by now. He had left right after making sure the man was once again asleep. He’d barely eaten his breakfast, and Junhui knew it wasn’t just a simple case of lack of appetite. Junhui had more than once caught Wonwoo throwing up his meal. It was actually odd that no one had noticed that he’d lost weight. Were they all assuming that the man was on diet? How stupid.

“Listen, Hyung. It’s not actually any of your concern what I feel about Wonwoo. But the man is doing a wonderful job at slowly but steadily killing himself. He’s not just exhausted, Hyung. He’s depressed. And you know the cause of it but whatever you’ve been doing to help him, it’s not helping. So since you’ve single mindedly thrown me into the picture you can’t expect me to not do something about it. But I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what the problem is.”

“And what makes you think you can help? What, pray tell, can you do that I haven’t tried already, Junhui?” Seungchol was clearly angry now. He didn’t even try to hide it. But Junhui was prepared. He knew there was  high chance this talk would lead to this.

“I won’t know until I find out what the problem is, Hyung,” he answered calmly.

“And what if you are the problem itself? What are you going to do, Junhui-ah, if you are the reason Wonwoo is, as you just so accurately put it, slowly but steadily killing himself?”

Alright. Junhui hadn’t expected that.

He looked at Seungchol with unguarded bewilderment. “What are you talking about, Hyung?”

*

Junhui opened the door to Wonwoo’s condo feeling like he’d just run a marathon, minus the panting. He was tired. So tired that he could feel it in his bones. There was nothing else he would like to do more than finding the closest comfortable horizontal surface and lie down, go to sleep, and ignore the whole world. He recalled he’d planned on cleaning the place after meeting Seungchol but he supposed that could wait.

Wonwoo was awake when he stepped inside, sitting on the couch he’d previously fallen asleep on. But after a longer inspection Junhui noticed that something was not right, because Wonwoo was shaking.

“Wonwoo?” Junhui called cautiously. He walked closer and carefully placed the chicken soup he’d gotten for Wonwoo on his way back on the table.

Wonwoo looked up with a jerk, obviously hadn’t realized that Junhui was in the room. When his eyes set on Junhui, his body noticeably sagged in relief.

“You’re back,” Wonwoo said in disbelief.

Junhui frowned and stepped closer to check if Wonwoo’s fever was getting worse. “Of course I am. I just went out to buy some chicken soup. See?” he motioned at the container on the table. “How are you feeling?”

“But you were gone when I woke up..,” Wonwoo trailed off, ignoring Junhui’s question altogether. “You were gone, so I thought..”

And then it hit Junhui what Wonwoo was referring to.

Junhui dropped onto his knees in front of Wonwoo and, in one single reckless moment, reached out a hand to touch Wonwoo’s cheek, finding it warm with fever. Instead of moving away, Wonwoo leaned into the touch. He must be delirious, thought Junhui.

“I’m sorry I that left,” Junhui said softly, hoping that Wonwoo understood he meant that not just for earlier.

Wonwoo moved then, though not away from Junhui. Instead he reached forward and pulled Junhui into his arms. Junhui found himself crushed in between Wonwoo’s arms and chest and it was a little hard to breathe with the way Wonwoo was squeezing him. But Junhui stayed quiet, knowing they both needed this.

“It’s alright.” Wonwoo’s mouth was so close to his ear Junhui almost shivered along with the timbre of Wonwoo’s voice. “You came back. Just... don’t go and disappear on me again.”

And Junhui was sure Wonwoo did understand. He clutched on the front of Wonwoo’s shirt with both hands and pressed his face into the crook of Wonwoo’s neck, fully aware that Wonwoo might not be aware of what he was doing but pretending that he didn’t care.

*

That kiss after the basket ball match had been for a bet.

Junhui had found out about that by lunch break the same day because of course the whole school would know that Jeon Wonwoo had taken up a bet to kiss a fellow student, not to mention a fellow _male_ student. Junhui had been eating his lunch quietly, trying his best to ignore the looks the other students had been throwing him before giving up and left the cafeteria, feeling uncharacteristically angry and more than a little upset.

Junhui had decided against confronting Wonwoo at first, thinking he shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. People at school would move on to the next thing of their interest in no time. But then he had happened to overhear Wonwoo and his friends laughing while talking about it and the utter humiliation Junhui had felt had pushed him to walk toward Wonwoo and landed a punch on his left cheek without preamble.

Junhui hadn’t even realized he had been crying until he left, hands shaking from the impact of the punch he’d just thrown. That had been the first time Junhui had ever punched someone. And it had been a bit funny considering not two hours ago he had just gotten his first kiss. So Junhui had laughed, though it had sounded hollow and nothing resembling funny.

Wonwoo had found him in the boy’s restroom a few minutes later. Junhui noticed how a bruise had started to form on his left cheek and involuntarily felt a little sorry for the boy. It had to hurt, Junhui had thought, but he stayed on his spot and wordlessly glared at Wonwoo.

“I just want to see if you’re alright,” said Wonwoo cautiously. He stood still by the entry though he looked like he wanted to come closer but was holding himself back.

Junhui stared at him incredulously thinking there had to be something wrong with this guy to worry about the very person who’d just punched him on the face.

Wonwoo looked like he understood the meaning of Junhui’s look, or at least catching that Junhui hadn’t gotten why he was concerned about Junhui instead of being angry at him.

“You were crying, so I thought… we must have crossed the line a little with the joke.” Junhui snorted at that, but Wonwoo was unperturbed. “You looked so sad so I just.. I just.. I’m sorry, Jun.”

Junhui was a little surprised, and secretly flattered, that Wonwoo knew his name but he was still very much upset. “You should have thought about being sorry before you went and kissed another person without their consent for a bet,” he said without as much scorn as he would have liked.

But Wonwoo shook his head and did come closer to Junhui after that. “I’m not sorry that I kissed you. I’m sorry that you’re upset because it was a bet,” he said before grabbing Junhui’s head with both face and kissed Junhui for the second time.

It was very different with the brief kiss over the window earlier, and Junhui’s brain kind of short-circuited and any reaction had been unable to accomplish since the neurons inside his head had just kind of turned into mini fireworks. Wonwoo kissed Junhui like he had waited for more than a while to do it, coaxing Junhui to open up for him and thoroughly caressing the inside of Junhui’s mouth with his tongue. If only Junhui had been able to think he would have wondered where Wonwoo had learned to do that.

When Wonwoo finally pulled away, and it felt like a thousand lifetimes to Junhui, he was smiling delightedly. “Now it wasn’t so bad, was it?” he said while still holding Junhui up since Junhui’s ability to stand upright had apparently just been kissed out of him.

That had been the first of the hundreds following kisses they shared in secret. They would meet in deserted places at school and kissed, sometimes just briefly, sometimes like the kiss they shared the first time at the boy’s restroom: passionate, intense, and making Junhui feel hot all over. They never really talked about it. Wonwoo seemed content with showing whatever it was he felt for Junhui with his action while Junhui understood talking would bring about complications. And Junhui would really like to avoid any complication that would arise if words about him being in some kind of relationship with _the_ Jeon Wonwoo spread all over the school. If they talked at all while they were together, it was about anything but the thing between the two of them.

The first time they had sex was at Wonwoo’s house one afternoon when both his parents were gone for this business trip overseas. They hadn’t made it to Wonwoo’s bedroom upstairs. Wonwoo had instead blindly led Junhui to the nearest coach and fucked Junhui on it. It was far from perfect. Junhui remembered how strange it was, feeling something filling him _down there_ for the first time. It hadn’t hurt as much as he had been anticipating, but it hurt nonetheless. He’d done his fair share of research on how it worked but the live action was something else entirely. Junhui could feel Wonwoo moving inside of him and it was uncomfortable but strangely pleasant, and by the way Wonwoo was moaning and groaning out his name it had to be more than pleasant for him. Junhui didn’t begrudge him for that, though. He was perfectly content to lie on his back and let Wonwoo fuck him.

When Wonwoo offered to exchange roles the next time, Junhui had politely refused and told Wonwoo he liked it the first time they had done it. He didn’t say that he knew Wonwoo was only offering because he was being considerate and not wanting Junhui to feel used. Wonwoo looked more than a little relieved, but Junhui didn’t resent him for that. Besides, he did enjoy being the one on the receiving end. The fact that it got even better after the first time only added to Junhui’s preference.

Junhui had always thought the thing between him and Wonwoo was merely physical. He wouldn’t call them friends with benefits. Junhui wasn’t even sure if he and Wonwoo were friends. And ‘fuck buddies’ was just too crude for Junhui’s liking he had dismissed that thought all together. Besides, they didn’t need a name for whatever it was they were doing.

Unfortunately, dismissing the way Junhui had started to feel about Wonwoo was not as easy. Junhui had never been particularly talented at lying. That was why he failed even to lie to himself. He knew why he had been that upset after finding out that Wonwoo had kissed him for a bet the first time. He admitted, though not out loud, that he had had an eye on Wonwoo for a while without realizing that Wonwoo had actually been aware that Junhui existed. He had recklessly let things advance too far against his better judgment, but Junhui honestly didn’t regret it. It was just, it got harder as days passed and Junhui started to feel other unnecessary things aside from what he already felt about his not quite boyfriend.

Wonwoo had always been one of the popular kids, the ones with not only good looks, but also talents in sports, and well-to-do parents. Not that Junhui was not from a quite wealthy family himself, but he never acted like he was. Junhui did well with his studies, but you didn’t get to be the cool kid in high school for being smart. His fellow students mostly referred to Junhui as ‘that kid who spends too much time in the library’ or ‘that kid who studies too much’. This thing had never really bothered Junhui. Until he realized how different he and Wonwoo were and for some reason he was so bothered that he thought about it in the middle of sex with Wonwoo. If Wonwoo had sensed he was distracted, however, he didn’t mention it. But he did occasionally throw a concerned look at Junhui’s direction for the rest of the day. Junhui only smiled reassuringly at him and was secretly thrilled that Wonwoo apparently cared about him more than he thought.

When Junhui started to get unreasonably jealous of the girls, and boys, who liked to hang around Wonwoo at school that was when Junhui realized he was completely and utterly fucked. Junhui knew that Wonwoo was kind of an attention whore. He didn’t mind people clinging onto him, he enjoyed it. He even encouraged it. The guy was hot and he knew it, and used it to his advantage. That had been going on before the affair with Junhui and it didn’t stop after that. Junhui was fully aware he didn’t have the right to feel the way he did every time he saw Wonwoo throwing an arm around a girl’s shoulder or leaning in too close when speaking to another guy. It was a game Wonwoo was playing, and he was very good at it. Besides, nothing could convince Junhui that he was not a part of the game himself. That thought made Junhui so sick he had to run to the nearest restroom and subsequently threw up the toast and egg he had had for breakfast.

Junhui was determined to put the thing into a stop after that. But he couldn’t figure out how to voice it out to Wonwoo while only thinking about talking to Wonwoo about what he actually felt made Junhui dangerously close to hyperventilating. In high school, Junhui had never been quite as socially adept as he was today. Then Junhui’s parents had gotten a divorce and he suddenly got a way out. It was a cowardly way out but it was the only way out Junhui could think of without having to humiliate himself in front of Wonwoo.

The paperwork had taken no more than two days to complete and his mother hadn’t even needed to come to school herself. Junhui had slowly cleared out the contents of his school locker without anyone noticing since the week before. Wonwoo hadn’t even suspected anything. On his last day, Junhui followed Wonwoo to his house as usual after school ended. They always went to Wonwoo’s house, his parents were rarely home. Junhui had agreed to spend the night. And Wonwoo was delighted because Junhui usually refused to stay even just for dinner.

That night Junhui had given Wonwoo the first ever blowjob he had ever given him. Wonwoo had once hinted to Junhui that he’d like to find out how it felt to come in Junhui’s mouth but Junhui hadn’t favored the idea back then. To tell the truth, he had been kind of horrified thinking about letting Wonwoo shove his dick down his throat.

Junhui was surprised to find out that giving a blowjob actually felt good. Junhui couldn’t put it all the way inside his mouth but what his mouth couldn’t reach he made it up with his hands and Wonwoo was obviously far from complaining. He could feel Wonwoo trembling while desperately holding himself back from jerking his hip for fear of choking Junhui. He realized how much power he possessed over the guy at the moment despite being the one on his knees, and it was exhilarating.

Junhui experimentally hollowed his cheeks and sucked before swallowing, almost choking in the process, but the reaction he got from Wonwoo was worth it. Wonwoo gave up holding back altogether, putting his hands on Junhui’s head and thrusting frantically into Junhui’s mouth. Junhui did choke this time, but he didn’t complain, fully aware it would be the only time he had this experience. Tears ran down his face and Junhui was grateful to have the excuse of being throttled, trying his best to ignore the way his chest constricted and the way his gut twisted.

Wonwoo fucked Junhui into his bed not ten minutes after he came inside Junhui’s mouth and Junhui silently savored the feeling of having Wonwoo inside him while repeatedly blinking back the tears that threatened to fall again.

Junhui silently left while Wonwoo was still asleep the next morning.  He got on a flight to Shenzhen with his mom in the afternoon.

Junhui came back to Korea two years later to attend university and was surprised to find out that Jeon Wonwoo had become a big name in the entertainment industry. He knew then that it was only about time before his past exploits with Wonwoo would come up to the surface, but knew too that there was nothing he could do about it.

Junhui just had never expected that Wonwoo’s own agency would be the one to use it against him.

*

Wonwoo wanted to quit showbiz.

His joining the entertainment industry in the first place had been an act of rebellion against his parents, Seungchol had told Junhui. He hadn’t expected he would become this big. Wonwoo had started as a model in commercials at first, then he joined castings for dramas and, surprise-surprise, the producers liked him, even offered him to sing the soundtracks for his own dramas. He soon got invitations for reality shows and even became a regular guest in one of them. Wonwoo was a natural charmer, Junhui really didn’t have a hard time believing how he simply captured the hearts of people on set and off set.

And then things started getting too much. People would look at him and mistook him as the character he played in his drama. At first he dismissed it as a common mistake, but soon he felt like no one knew the real him. When people looked at him, what they saw was not Jeon Wonwoo as Jeon Wonwoo, but Jeon Wonwoo the incompetent actor who had an illegitimate little daughter and fell in love with his housekeeper, or Jeon Wonwoo the marine force officer who lost his teammate once and later fell for another teammate while trying to capture a crime lord. He started getting phone calls and texts from strangers proclaiming to be his fans, declaring love and never ending devotion. He couldn’t go out without being mobbed by his so called fans. People actually stalked him like creeps. And he couldn’t be too friendly with anyone because the media would toss it to the public and speculate if Wonwoo was actually dating his co-star in this drama.

When Wonwoo realized it, his life had been robbed off him and the one he was currently living in was a pathetic excuse of the actual thing, specially designed to put up with his public image as one of South Korea’s superstar. Wonwoo was sick of it all. So he wanted to quit.

His contract with his current agency lasted for five years, and it was coming to an end. Wonwoo had expressed his intention of not renewing the contract but the higher-ups hadn’t reacted well to that. Although Wonwoo had stated that he would not sign another contract with a different agency they still refused to let Wonwoo go, which Wonwoo had thought ridiculous at first because they couldn’t keep him if he didn’t want to stay.

Wonwoo was a very valuable asset for the company and of course they wouldn’t let him go if they could help it. However, Wonwoo’s mind was set and he wanted to quit. He told Seungchol he was done being rebellious and he wanted to do it right this time. He wanted to go to college and get a degree. He wanted to find a normal job and maybe he would take over the family business like his parents had wanted him to.

“But then they threatened that they will reveal his past relationship with this boy from his high school if he insists to leave the company,” Seungchol had said, and the moment Junhui heard that he felt cold.

Seungchol had looked at Junhui then, his expression hard as if somehow he blamed Junhui for everything.

“That kid is an idiot,” said Seungchol. “It never occurred to him that the company has done a background check on him even before he was recruited. In the entertainment industry people never hesitate to play dirty. And guess what the first thing that fool was concerned about when he was told about the threat.”

Junhui only stared at Seungchol, willing the man to continue, because Junhui really couldn’t think of a single thing at the moment.

“He came to me and asked what will happen to you if the press gets the news,” Seungchol went on eventually. “He was more worried about you that himself. He said ‘Hyung, he might be leading a happy life right now. I suppose he’s graduating from university, or who knows if he’s already married with a cute little girl or boy. I don’t want to ruin it for him.’”

“He started in the industry a few months after you left. When I was assigned as his manager the first thing he shared with me was the story about the two of you. I don’t know what the hell you were thinking that you left him without a single word, but even though I have my theory I still think you’re an asshole. He said one of the reasons he decided to take the company’s offer was he wanted to be famous and show you that even though you left him you wouldn’t be able to run away from him. As long as you’re in Korea, you’d see his face wherever you go.”

_And ain’t that the truth_ , Junhui had said inwardly. How many times in the past had Junhui been tortured by the fact that Wonwoo’s face seemed to appear everywhere?

“He used to begrudge you for leaving. But eventually he got over it,” Seungchol had said then. “That doesn’t mean he’s gotten over you. Though honestly I don’t get what he sees in a coward like you.”

*

It was long past the point of uncomfortable when Wonwoo finally let go of Junhui. Junhui’s legs were kind of numb for staying in a kneeling position for so long.

“You still have a fever,” said Junhui. “Should I call the director telling him that you’re still not well enough to work?”

Wonwoo shook his head. “I’m alright. We’re going. Let me just take a shower.”

Junhui sighed. “Okay. I’ll heat up the soup. You will have some food and take some medicine before we go.”

“Yes, mother,” said Wonwoo as he stood up and walked toward his room.

Junhui too, stood up and picked up the soup from the table to reheat it in the kitchen.

“Jun,” Wonwoo called from his bedroom doorway, stopping Junhui mid step. Junhui turned to Wonwoo, half perplexed. It had been so long since Wonwoo called him with that name.

“Yes?”

“We will talk later.”

Junhui hung his head in defeat. “Okay.”

Junhui silently prayed for Wonwoo to be too tired to talk when they got back that evening.

*

Wonwoo did look really tired when they got back to Wonwoo’s place. It was almost midnight, and Junhui was half wishing Wonwoo would let him go home right away. But then Wonwoo gave him a look that Junhui automatically translated as ‘like hell you’re getting away’ so Junhui silently followed the man into the building.

 Wonwoo was silent all the way to his floor, and let Junhui tapped his security code by his door to open the apartment.

“You want to drink something?” asked Junhui the moment they were both inside.

Wonwoo walked to the couch and took a seat.

“Water is fine,” he said.

Junhui left his bag on the floor and went to get some water. When he was back with two glasses of water, Wonwoo patted the seat next to him, signaling Junhui to sit down. Junhui put the water on the table and sat next to Wonwoo, trying his best not to fidget.

No one said a word for a while, and it was getting harder for Junhui to stop himself from being restless. He finally picked up his glass and took a large gulp. He could feel the water flowing down his throat to his stomach, the cool sensation calming him down if only a little.

Eventually Wonwoo spoke up. “Your name,” he said.

“Eh?” Junhui turned to look at Wonwoo in puzzlement. “Wha – what?”

“Why did you change your name? You were not Wen Junhui in high school.”

“Oh, that.. My parents got divorced. I took up my mom’s last name,” explained Junhui.

No one from his high school except the teachers had known about that, so Junhui figured Wonwoo hadn’t known about it either, all this time. Junhui could feel this prickling sensation in his gut that he somehow identified as guilt. He persistently ignored it.

“That doesn’t explain your first name. Did you change your first name as well?”

“I didn’t,” Junhui said blankly. “My first name has always been Junhui.”

“No,” Wonwoo said with a frown. “It was Jun.”

It struck Junhui then. Junhui ducked his head in shame.

“Actually,” he started, swallowing down the urge to gulp. “My real name is Junhui. Jun was a nickname. Most people called me Jun in high school. But really, my real name has always been Junhui.”

“And you never once told me your real name.”

Junhui could feel this murderous aura from his side and had this urge to move away, putting more distance between him and Wonwoo, but Wonwoo’s glare kept him in place. He felt like banging his head to the nearest vertical surface.

“I thought you knew,” Junhui confessed stupidly. He really had thought so.

“Well, I didn’t,” said Wonwoo matter-of-factly. “So you’re half Chinese.”

It wasn’t a question, but Junhui nodded anyway.

“Heh. So that’s why I could never find you no matter how hard I looked. And to think that I didn’t know my boyfriend’s real name, only finding it out after five years. How pathetic.”

Wonwoo sounded completely dejected, but Junhui was too stunned to register the fact. “Wa – wait. Boyfriend?”

“What do you think? Of course you’re my boyfriend, _Junhui_.”

“But.. you never said that!” said Junhui accusingly.

_What the hell?_ thought Junhui. There’s no way they had been boyfriends back then. Wonwoo had never once mentioned that they were in some kind of relationship.

“I thought you knew!” Wonwoo accused back.

“Well, I didn’t. And how could I, when you were acting the way you did? You had all those – those boys and girls hanging onto you.  And you never said a word about me being your boyfriend to me. I thought you were just playing around,” Junhui admitted shame faced.

“What?!”

“Sorry.” Junhui said meekly, trying to make himself appear as small as possible. “So.. you were not?”

“So that was why you left?” Wonwoo asked back, ignoring Junhui’s question.

“That.. I told you my parents got divorced, right? It was that year. My mom moved to Shenzhen. I went with her.”

“Without telling me. You could have told me you were moving, Junhui. But you didn’t. You were gone when I woke up in the morning. Without words. Not even a single note. Why? Did you seriously think I was only playing around with you?”

Junhui was too ashamed to raise his head and look at Wonwoo’s face, let alone answering his question. He had realized it had been kind of harsh of him to leave just like that. But Junhui had been too preoccupied by his own emotions to even consider Wonwoo would have been hurt by his action. Thinking about the probability of Wonwoo having felt anything in a romantic manner for him was simply out of the question.

“Did you really, Junhui? Didn’t it occur to you, even once, that I actually liked you?”

Junhui set his eyes on the floor between the table and the couch, wishing that a hole could appear and swallow him by will alone. But the floor wasn’t cooperating, no matter how hard he was staring it stayed as solid as ever.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured to his lap.

“You should be. You – God, you’re such an idiot. Weren’t you like the top student in our year or something? Seriously, Junhui.”

Something in Wonwoo’s tone made Junhui snap and the next second he stood up from his sitting position and glared at Wonwoo. “Listen you, arrogant bastard! I never knew that you felt that way. You never even told me and then you were calling me your boyfriend like it was the most obvious thing. I know I was a coward for leaving. But did you ever think about what I felt? We only met in secret and you never said a thing and you always had those groupies of yours hanging around you at school. Did you ever ask me to tag along when you’re with them? No. Did you ever say anything about me to them? No. So excuse me for thinking you were only playing around with me and for being heartbroken because the guy I was in love with was only using me as a fuck buddy!”

Junhui was panting by now; it had been quite a while since he lost his temper. He had always been a bit touchy about the top student thing. It wasn’t his fault that he did well with his studies. People had no right to belittle his achievement at school just because he was often clueless about things in real life.

Wonwoo was looking at him with a dumbstruck expression on his face. Junhui look right back at him, still scowling.

“You..,” Wonwoo trailed off. “You loved me?”

_Oh shit_.

“Oh. That. I.. No, that was.. I didn’t mean to say that,” he said lamely.

But the damage was done. Wonwoo was now looking at him with the widest grin the man had ever worn.

“You love me,” he said gleefully.

Junhui huffed and crossed his arms on his chest, painstakingly trying to collect all the composure he could muster.

“Even if I did, it was years ago. What’s past is past. Now there is nothing more than a professional relationship between u- mph!”

Junhui was unable to finish his speech because Wonwoo had suddenly pulled him down and muffled him with a kiss. A kiss. Wonwoo was kissing him. Junhui’s mental alarm went off somewhere inside his head and he immediately struggled to let go. Letting Wonwoo hug him knowing the man was under delusion and in need of a hug was one thing, letting Wonwoo kiss him when both of them were unquestionably sober was another.

“Wonwoo, wha – “

“Shut up, Junhui,” said Wonwoo flatly and went back to kissing Junhui.

Realizing his resistance was futile – if he kept struggling there would be bruises from the way Wonwoo was holding him in place, Junhui gave up struggling altogether. Finally convinced that Junhui wasn’t resisting any longer, Wonwoo loosened his grip on him, one hand moving up to hold the back of his neck. Wonwoo’s kiss felt bizarrely familiar as if Junhui hadn’t gone five years without it. Junhui didn’t dare to move at first, but Wonwoo’s urging lips and gentle caress eventually stripped him off of his inhibition and Junhui slowly, slowly put his arms around Wonwoo’s broad back.

Junhui didn’t know how long they stayed like that, kissing on the couch without a care in the world. Wonwoo was apparently determined to pay off for the five years they had gone without kissing. He would let go for a few moments only to dive back in and devour Junhui with his lips. Junhui was painfully certain that he would need to wear something to cover the bruises all over his neck the next day. Thank god it was fall.

Later, Wonwoo dragged Junhui to his room, giving him the glare from hell when he mentioned he should go home. “If you think I would let you out of my sight now you’re even more of an idiot than I thought,” he said. Junhui bit his lower lip and swallowed back the retort that was already on the tip of his tongue. After all, he was well aware where Wonwoo was coming from. Also, he knew Wonwoo wouldn’t be doing anything tonight. More than he’d already done, that was. Neither of them had any energy left to do anything more than sleeping. So he let Wonwoo guide him toward the bedroom and quietly sat on one side of the bed while Wonwoo took off his clothes and put on a pair of pajama pants and nothing else. Thanks to his exhaustion Junhui’s brain didn’t wander to any inappropriate places while being exposed to that expanse of perfect naked skin.

When he was done, Wonwoo gave Wonwoo a look, complete with the raised eyebrows. “You sure you’re sleeping in all those clothes?”

“Um.” Junhui looked down at himself. It would be uncomfortable to sleep in his full attire, yes, but he was more uncomfortable with the thought of sleeping with Wonwoo without clothes.

Wonwoo shook his head in disdain before walking toward his walk in closet. He emerged a moment later with a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, then unceremoniously handed both fabrics out onto Junhui’s hands.

“You can change in the bathroom if it bothers you that much to take off your clothes in front of me,” he said. “Though I fail to see the point. I’ve seen it all, after all.”

Junhui immediately stood up and went to the bathroom before Wonwoo said anything more and made him even more mortified than he already was.

Once in the bathroom, Junhui slowly undressed, furiously trying to fight the blush creeping up from his neck when he noticed Wonwoo had managed to undo half the buttons on his shirt. When he looked into the mirror and saw the fruit of Wonwoo’s work on his neck and collarbones, however, fighting off the blush was a lost cause.

Junhui hurriedly put on the shorts and shirt Wonwoo had lent him and turned on the faucet, splashing his face with cold water to get back his composure.

“Get a grip, Wen Junhui,” he told his reflection in the mirror. “You’re no longer in high school. You’re twenty two year old and an adult. So act like it.”

After drying his face with the white fluffy towel hung in the bathroom (it smelled like Wonwoo), Junhui grabbed his folded clothes and walked out of the bathroom, back into Wonwoo’s bedroom where Wonwoo was waiting in the bed, back against the head rest and legs stretched out, ankles crossing. Junhui was painfully self-conscious, but eventually managed to cross the distance between the bathroom door and the bed with as much poise as he could gather, which to tell the truth not much at all.

Junhui carefully put his folded clothes on the bedside table, because he was a complete neat freak despite how often he pretended he wasn’t and he would never, ever throw his clothes to the floor after taking them off if he could help it. It was more than a little awkward, getting into the same bed with Wonwoo again after five years, but Junhui managed, the exhaustion played not a small part in this case. He let Wonwoo gather him close and put an arm under his head, failing to suppress the contented sigh as he moved closer so his head was resting on Wonwoo’s broad shoulder. And suddenly everything felt right in the world.

Junhui knew they had a lot more to talk about. He was definitely going to demand explanation on why Wonwoo had pretended he hadn’t recognized Junhui all this time, though he had a pretty good guess why and honestly couldn’t fully blame Wonwoo for that. They also had the problem with Wonwoo’s agency to figure out. Junhui really didn’t want to be the reason why Wonwoo had to hold back on the things he wanted to do, but sadly it wasn’t as simple as that. Junhui knew for a fact his being recruited as Wonwoo’s new personal assistant hadn’t been a pure coincidence. He was sure Seungchol had something to do with it, probably thinking it would be easier for Wonwoo to figure things out with Junhui close by his side. Also, he didn’t want to think about how Wonwoo would react when Junhui told him he was off to Australia right after the New Year rolled by. Hell, it still felt surreal to Junhui that Wonwoo had never forgotten about him after all these years.

For now, Junhui let his exhaustion take over and drifted effortlessly to sleep, lulled by Wonwoo’s steady breathing.

*

*

The Camperdown Memorial Park was located between Federation Road, Lennox Street, and Church Street in Sydney. It was where the Newtown festival was held on November 11th every year. On normal days, people brought their dogs to the park for a walk, brought their kids to play at the playground, or simply went there to soak under the sun and enjoy the day. Junhui loved spending time there. He would usually sit down on a bench at the park after his morning run every day.

Junhui leaned his back against the backrest of the bench he was sitting on. He took a deep breath and relished the feel of fresh air flowing into his lungs. Junhui loved the warm January temperature in Sydney, it was a far cry from the dry and bitterly cold winter air in Seoul. It was his third week living in Sydney, having left Seoul right after New Year. He found an apartment on Northwood Street near the Memorial Park, less than an hour walk to the university.

So far, Junhui was enjoying his time living and studying in Australia. The fact that Sydney was only two hours ahead of Seoul also played a part in that. Long distance calls were much more enjoyable when neither of both parties was half asleep when one of them called after all.  Junhui tapped on his phone to check the time. He smiled after noticing it was time for him to head back to his apartment. He needed to change before picking up his boyfriend at the airport. No more long distance calls, he thought, at least not for a long while.

The issue with Wonwoo’s company had met an ironic turn of event only a week before Wonwoo’s contract was supposed to end in November the previous year. Though, when Junhui thought about it, it was only appropriate that the press found out about his relationship with Wonwoo before the company revealed the news to them. Bizarre things always happened in the entertainment industry after all.

There had been a brief freak out in Junhui’s part, and a mini nervous breakdown in Wonwoo’s part. But once Junhui managed to settle down and told himself firmly that all would be alright and promptly convinced Wonwoo of the same thing, they both had faced the issue level headedly. It had been weeks of a whirlwind of press conference, interviews, sneaking away from reporters, hate calls, and heartbroken fan girls. Junhui had to once again admit that Wonwoo had faced all of those admirably well. Surprisingly, though Junhui told himself it shouldn’t be surprising at all, the racket had died down by the end of the second week, overthrown by the news of the suicide attempt of a member of one of the rising girl bands. Things went on in the entertainment industry, and Wonwoo eventually worked out his end of contract issue with his company.

Wonwoo had been doing a lot better since then. He had been gradually getting less depressed and less exhausted after he and Junhui worked together to reestablish their relationship, but after his contract officially ended and he had announced his break from the entertainment industry it was like a huge burden had been taken off of his shoulders and he looked more and more at ease as days passed. Junhui almost regretted having to break his departure to Australia to him, though he had done it eventually.

All things considered, Wonwoo had taken it quite well. He only refused to speak with Junhui for two days and didn’t even raise his voice when demanding why Junhui hadn’t told him sooner. After two days Wonwoo appeared at Junhui’s doorstep, telling Junhui he was going to follow Junhui to Australia since Junhui couldn’t stay in Seoul with him.

“I’ll go to college there,” Wonwoo had said. “Already looked up some schools, there’s this business school...  I’ve talked with my parents. They told me to go ahead.”

Junhui was too busy grinning, and then kissing Wonwoo, to tell Wonwoo that it was unbelievable he’d come to that decision, even going so far as school searching and talking with his parents, only in two days.

Junhui had helped Wonwoo with online registration and the paperwork soon after that. They had looked up apartments together, Junhui had cancelled his plan on renting a one bedroom apartment near his university for a larger one to live in with Wonwoo. Junhui had left first, since the term started early in his university, Wonwoo following him in three weeks.

Junhui realized it was a little too early for the two of them to already start living together. It had only been more or less three months since they decided to restore their past relationship, or in Junhui’s case turning the not-relationship into a real one. But then it came to him that they had already missed five years apart. Since they were both starting a new life in a new place far away from where all of the things between them started, moving in together was only the proper first step.

Junhui turned the light off on his way out, smiling a little as he locked up. Wonwoo would be in Sydney in less than two hours.

 

-fin(ish)

*

*

*

*

**[outtake]**

Soonyoung was in the middle of perfecting this new choreo he’d been working on for weeks when Seungchol called. It had been quite a while since he last heard from his mother’s younger cousin, so Soonyoung was equal parts excited and curious.

“Hyung!” he greeted the moment he pressed answer on his touch screen.

“Hey, Soonyoung. How’s it going?” he heard Seungchol’s voice from the other end of the line.

“Good, Hyung. I graduated from university a couple months ago and now I’m working part time as a dance instructor while waiting for some real offer. How are you? It’s been ages, Hyung!”

“Ah. Yeah, I’m sorry I’ve been busy lately. I heard from your mom you had an interview with Cheil.”

“Yeah, but… I’m not getting my hopes up for that one, to be honest. You know how hard it is to get an offer from them.” And Soonyoung was not even talking out of  self-doubt. It really was that hard to land a job at the company, as it was one of the major advertising agencies in the country.

“I see,” said Seungchol. “Actually, I know someone in their HR. Should I put a word in for you?”  

“What? Seriously? Oh my god, Hyung! Yes, please. Can you really?”

Shit. Who cared about nepotism. Soonyoung would readily kiss this nameless HR guy’s (or girl’s) ass if he needed to, as long as he could get the job. Well, figuratively speaking of course. The only ass he would happily kiss in the literal sense of the word is Jihoon’s, though he still needed to work on the nerves to tell the guy about it. Um, not about the ass kissing thing. That should probably wait until Soonyoung had somehow managed to get kisses on Jihoon’s other, less dangerous body parts. Like his mouth. Hmm, those lips would taste heavenly, wouldn’t they?

“Sure thing.”

Oh shit. Right. Soonyoung was on the phone with Seungchol. Talking about his potential future job at Cheil. Which is gonna be super awesome.  

“Oh my god, Hyung. Thank you so much! If I get the job, I’m gonna owe you big time.”

 “It’s no big deal, Soonyoung,” said Seungchol. “Though, I might actually have a favor to ask of you later.”

“Sure. Anything, Hyung. I’ll do it,” Soonyoung said readily.

“Wen Junhui. Are you two close?”

Huh? What was Seungchol talking about? “Hyung, Junnie is my best friend!”

“Ah. Then, how okay are you about lying to him?”

“That’s a weird question, Hyung,” said Soonyoung, though he did give the question some consideration as he was talking. After a beat, Soonyoung went on, “I would hate to lie to him, especially if it could harm him in anyway. But white lies or lying about something that could potentially be good for him, I probably wouldn’t mind. Why, though? What is this favor you’re asking me?”

“Hm. I promise it’s nothing bad. I’ll get back to you later, Soonyoung. You should expect a call from Cheil in a couple days.”

Seungchol ended the call.

 

-fin (for real this time) 


End file.
